


Break free

by Anox



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Being Lost, Cutting, Self-Harm, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anox/pseuds/Anox
Summary: Just need to get this off my chest.
Comments: 2





	Break free

You might have read my other text which means you know me a little bit.

It's been almost a year since my dad past away. The last few weeks I tend to cry a lot even though I normally don't. I have the feeling that my life is falling apart and I am just standing there watching. My mum always tells me that she is so tired and she can't do it anymore with working all the time and caring for my sisters and me. I hate getting told that she is broken because it makes me feel even more worthless. I would love to be able to help her more but in the end I can't control my sisters and get them to help. I sometimes think that they hate me you know... A lot of people tell me that I am the good child the one you can depend on. Well they don't know that I think about disappearing, just killing myself, at least once a week. I started cutting again and not only on my back or chest. I hate that I feel pressured to live so I don't hurt other people by giving up.

In 2018 I started to write some letters to my family kind of like suicide notes. I explain that it isn't their fault and the only one that could be blamed is me. It is me who thinks I am worthless and broken. The fact that I got broken because of words, to much pressure and the constant battle to be good is something they don't need to know.

Maybe I will disappear soon I could go to my dad tell him that I messed up and hope he can forgive me. Hope I can forgive myself. 

I don't want to be the perfect daughter anymore. I am supposed to smile and be happy all the time but in the mean while I could scream and cry. They ask me what's wrong and I can't express myself without sounding like a fool. I am trapped but maybe one day I can break free. 


End file.
